MTV Fraudies Version 5.0
If one would honestly comment on this program, here is how it would go... All they need are bleep**ches and blee**poles , bleet**ching at each other. After observing this bleep show closely one cannot help marveling at the extend of dumbness of the precariously selected cream of the Indian youth. And bemoan about it.To fend off the obvious bleeps, and to prevent a shower of profanities which would last a gentleman his life time, one could conjure up an animal farm fable to vent his thoughts. This is how it would go:
“So finally there was time when the animals took over. Man with his outdated virtues were a matter of the past. The monkeys with malice towards all human beings, wanted them to convert to animalism, as if it were a religion, the in thing, the cult thing. Two of the most jabbering monkeys mustered the animal farm for their new venture. The male offspring of the erstwhile human race thought monkeys were fashionable and the females wrought themselves into the likes of the female dog species. The wannabe pigs , hyenas and asses too joined the fun with the animals. The unintelligible multitude of human offspring who cared a banana if they would be welcome back in their homes, piled up. But before letting any on stage, they were thoroughly sussed out for the required qualities for being a perfect clown. Some even had to jump like apes, some had to be upside down like a bat, some had to scream like hyenas to prove themselves. Any trace of shame or intelligence was ridiculed upon. Simply because those were human and totally unacceptable for a fraudie (that’s what they called this game). The favourite animal games played in the sty were cock fight and bitching..Earlier the monkeys used to be wary of the babas who owned langoors (goon monkeys) to scare them away and protect cultural dignity. The babas might not have even heard about Monkey TeleVision yet.”
Though MTV Roadies started with the cool idea of biking all over the country and doing group tasks, in its journey to the 5th version, it has mutated into a cheap bleep show and mutilated from its initial concept. For all those old-fashioned folks who thought playing games was all about teamwork, you will be scandalized with the new rules of youngistaan. The don’ts of any common group game are the rules here. Meanness and shamelessness are pre requisites while the gift of a motor mouth and the ability to fake attitude will ensure the roadie a Hero Honda Karizma bike and lakhs of rupees. It would be worth mentioning here that the name roadie is befitting: someone who lives by the road side. Could be replaced with roadside rowdy, hooligan, fraudie or such other variations.
Consider this conversation between two girl roadies:
“I don’t like your structure. You look so manly”
“Oh ! At least I don’t wear padded like you ”
Then Roadie 1 comments later, “So what if by birth she has bigger (bleep)bs than me”
When Roadie 1 was questioned on her infidelity with different roadie guys: “Everyone has a strategy and I had my own. I have tough attitude. I can change my attitude (read boys) whenever I want”
The G.K. of a precariously selected cerebral assassin roadie is on display here .There was a simple quiz as a part of the roadie tasks where at the wrong answer of a girl, the guy paired up with her would have to remove one layer of clothing. (Talk of innovation, anyone heard of strip poker?)
Question: “Who is the president of India?” Answers: “Sushma something , I know its a female” ; “Manmohan Singh”; “Manmohan Singh”; “APJ Abdul Kalam” ( Sh(bleep) yaar, should’ve listened to my papa when he told me to read newspapers) One girl got it right , Phew! By the end of the quiz which would’ve insulted the GK level of a panchvi pass, most guys where stripped down to their undies.
So kids, it is stylish to put on the most foreign accent you can and say,” F(bleep) I dunno the name of the president of India”; You can still be as famed like a rock star. Jai Hind ! Anyway, this show could be another ‘Lead India’ campaign if not anything-The kind of politics in vogue today, roadies could be the best budding netas. Youtube showed some videos of the stage auditions , the judge Raghu who shows more teeth which could even put our pacer Sreesanth to shame was booed throughout. He was surprisingly ho-hum compared to the man we see on TV.
If anything achieved, it is sexual equality. The men gossip and shamelessly dish the dirt at each other while the ‘cock fight’ seems to be between the ladies though one could change the name of the duel. They fought like ‘rowdies’ but luckily didn’t bite off each other’s ears. The roadies don’t realize that they won’t be garlanded back home. The girls act like they don’t care about people judging them and for the considerate non judging folks, they give substantial proof in the course of the show that they are what they look. Anyway, this is written for the poor young viewers who are on the verge of animalism. Retreat, save your self. Finally on who is the game played upon? The poor youngsters who think they’ve conquered the world being there? The poor wannabes who try to make it? Or you who watch them? Monkey TV. ENJOY!!!
“The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”- Animal Farm, George Orwell
